It's a Birthday

It's my little man's birthday today!! He's 2 years old. Sigh. I does not feel like the past year has been that long. It's like, counting up to his first birthday I knew exactly when it was coming and was prepared for it. Something went missing this past year. Because before I knew it, here we are. Even having his birthday the beginning of October didn't really faze me. But the past few days I've been thinking. I have a 2 year old.

Will I look back every November 13th on that magical day and remember perfectly all the details? I don't want to forget. I remember the frustration I felt when my water broke. Thinking I had peed my pants, even though I was *right* there at the toilet. Then finishing and going back to our bedroom only to discover that omg feeling of, I didn't pee my pants, my water broke, the time is here! I remember running into our bedroom for clean clothes and my cell phone. Being uncomfortable with the leaking I just sat on the toilet. And I called my husband. Leading up to this date I hadn't been able to sleep and had been falling asleep around 6am. That night I went to bed at 10pm with my husband and couldn't really stay asleep. I wasn't waking up completely, but it was disturbing my sleep. I thought it was weird that I was so tired so early. I got up to pee at 2am and then was hit with the insomnia again, I was up until 6am. I had a bowl of cereal and kept having weird feelings, like contractions, but they were about 20 minutes or so apart and I really thought it was just false labour. Dave and I talked about him going to work. I told him to go ahead, thinking nothing was going to happen.

8:30 my water broke. Now, close family members know this, and the nurse at the hospital knows this and thought it was hilarious. As I had said, I felt uncomfortable with the leaking so I just sat on the toilet. I sat there for a few hours while I waited for Dave to get home from work. Knowing that I should be keeping track of my contractions I looked around the bathroom. I found a pencil and the core of the toilet paper roll. Yes, I wrote my contraction times on a TP roll. It was the only thing in the bathroom to write on, so I did it. Confession: I still have that TP roll. I packed it and moved it from Ontario to Alberta (I think.... haven't found it yet) and if I don't have it I think I will be upset. When we finally got to the hospital I handed my TP roll over and the nurse laughed. Oh well, it shows the steady consistency of 3min apart contractions.

When I first got pregnant and we talked about the birth, I was 100% sure on one thing... ok 2.. Give me the drugs, and that I didn't want a c-section. The thought of a c-section scared the bejesus out of me. Closer to the end of the pregnancy I remember thinking, ok, I can do it, I can go without drugs. I changed from give me the drugs to I will try to make it as long as possible without the drugs. Well, we get there and at one point (pretty sure before the epidural) I thought to myself, you know what, just do a c-section now and get it over with! So glad I didn't say that out loud though. lol..I did get the epidural and wasn't as scary going in as I thought. It was nice to kind of relax through the contractions. I was told to get some sleep but I couldn't keep my eyes closed for more then 5 mintues.

When I was given the epi I got itchy. But, because I was frozen even though I was scratching it wasn't really helping. Well, around 8-9cm dialated I went to scratch my leg and that's when I realized something was wrong. My epidural was wearing off. I scratched my leg and it was being relieved. I wasn't numb there anymore. Perfect timing. There I was, pushing and delivering without any epidural left. It's definately crazy but I'm amazed at the whole childbirth thing.

My son got stuck, and they had to lay me down flat to finish delivering him. I remember when he came out my first thought wasn't let me see. I put my head back on the bed, (apparently) rolled my eyes into my head, cried and thought omg it's finally over!! I didn't look over to Austing (who I couldn't see anyways) and my mom kept telling me to look at him. When I finally did look over at him all I could see were nurse and doctor bums because I wasn't propped high enough to see. I also remember as the nurse was carrying him over to be checked out she said "I'd say 12 pounds" I remember laughing to myself and thinking yeah right. We just had an ultrasound 3 weeks before and we were told the baby was aprox 6lbs. He was 11lbs 7.5 oz. he is a big baby. Big and swollen. But he was beautiful

And he is still beautiful and amazing today. It's crazy how this bundle of energy who runs around and doesn't want to sit with me used to depend on me so much, and how I used to get all these cuddles from him. He's super smart and suprises me ever day. He is also like his daddy and makes me laught at least once a day.