I have a problem.

With my baby.

And the fact that she is not a baby.

I'm not sure why I'm having a bit of hard time dealing with that.

I keep thinking, she's still too young to do ____ She can't eat that, only tiny baby bites!

Take the puree train forever!

Nope. Not any more.

I mean. she's kind of running around the house. And when she babbles. There is definitely meaning behind it. I watch her and I'm trying to follow along with her. ah ah ah! ah's!!!

But, back to the food. She managed goldfish on the trip, she's even been managing biting pieces off things (like the pizza crust Austin left at the edge of the table, because oh yeah, she can reach the table now too.) And I've had an omg, no more baby food, no more bottles (ha, I can only hope that's soon) and no more babying the toddler. Yes, toddler.

 

Now I'm off to go cry in the corner.

Sooooo...

I'm sitting here, killing time before I have to switch the laundry over. (Ugh laundry) and thinking about how I really should write up a special little blog post.

You know, the one that talks about how my baby. That's right, My BABY turns one. ONE!!!

Oh, and I should mention, that she turns 1 tomorrow.


Hey, Universe! Where did you hide that last year?!? Seriously, how has it been a year since this baby made her presence here. I really just don't know.

However, I'm sitting here thinking about it and I am just not sure I'm ready to post the newborn squishy photos, re-live the birth experience, look back on how our life has changed this past year. I'm just not ready. So I don't think it will be posted tonight. I plan on taking some cute pics tomorrow so maybe tomorrow night I will be armed with some pictures and great memories. Tonight I am forgetting that I now have a toddler. Sigh

The time goes by

It's funny how just one moment sends you through a million memories.

 

This picture here. Was my moment.

 

 

Sure, it seems like nothing much. A kid looking in a door. It's just so much more. See, this deck, it's my dad's back deck. Right about where I'm standing to take the picture was where this seemingly big kid crawled for the first time. We had just finished a babyville class and our friend came back to my dad's with us. We sat the kids on a huge blanket on the deck and chatted away. Then Austin was up on his knees and crawled across the blanket. Just like that. It was almost a blink and miss it kind of thing he did it so fast. Now, 3 years (and a bit) later seeing this image filled me with all the memories of him growing up.

 

I can't believe how big he's gotten.  

School!

That's right. School. WHAT?!?! Ok, sure it's preschool. But still. It's a backpack and learning and out of the house. It's a big deal! Plus if we were in Ontario still he would be starting school this year.

 

So, this year, is a busy freaking year. We enrolled Austin in a preschool. We paid our deposits, yadda yadda. Then, we find out he was accepted to the preschool program through the school down the road. (I mean I can see it out my window it's that close) We didn't get the acceptance to the second school until months after enrolling him with the first school. I didn't even know he was being considered actually. The one hr of play weekly at the school I signed him up for last year put him in the consideration.

 

Now, the pre-school at the public school does accept kids who have delays. I guess in my "perfect kid" mind I didn't even think that he would be accepted because of course he has no delays. (Plus I didn't think he would get into one of the few "non delay" spots they have) However, they did an assesement and thought maybe he had a bit of a speech delay. To say I was in shock when I found out that news is an understatement. I did get over it though and we went for meetings with specialists. He does have a mild speech delay. The specialist told me that he understands everything but he just has a hard time translating that into words.

 

Now that we were in 2 schools I had to figure out what to do. The second school is covered, it's just like he is going to regular junior kindergarten. We only have to pay the school fees. The first school is a pretty hefty monthly bill. I wasn't sold on pulling him out of the first school though. Then, it was like fate intervened for us. His church pre-school ran Tues, Thurs, Friday mornings. We found out the second school ran mon, tues, thurs, fri afternoons. It was going to work out. I am still crazy worried about if it's going to be too much for Austin, but so far I've been up front with both schools, they both know he's enrolled in another, and so far he's been doing ok with adjusting.

 

Without further ado, I present to you the first day of school pics!!!

 

This day took me by surprise. I thought it was just a come in and see your class type of day. Then I got there and it was an actual first day. I had such a hard time NOT crying. The teachers read the kids the book "the Kissing Hand" to try and help them not be sad when their Moms aren't around. I get trying to help the kids, but when Austin gave my hand a kiss I almost started bawling right there. Not cool teachers. lol. We did stay for the whole 45 minutes (ok, so not a true first day since it was only 45 minutes, but I was still not prepared)

 

Having a blast coloring his picture of Chester from the story above.

 

And this picture was from his actual first day at the church pre-school. This was after class. I dropped him off and he just ran off and didn't say goodbye. Let's be honest now. I made it to the car and halfway out of the parking lot before I started crying because he was gone to school and didn't care to say goodbye. When I went to pick him up though he was so excited to see me so it made up for it.

 

These 2 pictures were just before leaving for his first day at the school down the street. I can't believe how big he is! Sigh.

 

 

I've been downgraded

And I'm not going to lie, It stings a bit.

My son is still too young to do this to me. Too young I tell you!!!

I'm now known as Mom. *sob* This past week he started with just one Mom instead of Mommy. Then a few more Mom's! Then before you know it the Mommy was gone. He hasn't called me Mommy yet today, and I'm pretty sure I didn't hear a Mommy come out of him yesterday either.

I am not ready for this. I love hearing Mommy. I don't know if I can handle this Mom business. He's growing up too fast for me.

The poor boy probably thinks I'm ignoring him though. See when he says Mom, I don't clue in right away he's talking to me. It's usually the second or third time he says it, usually with an annoyed tone in his voice, that I clue in. It would just be so much easier if he went back to using Mommy. sigh.

Hold onto this time

Some days, I think I am going crazy. That if I hear one more whine or cry my head might actually explode. If another variation of the word no escapes austin's lips I might have to lock myself in the bathroom and bang my head off the wall.

But I also know that before I know it this time will be gone. He is only 2 years, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days old once. Tomorrow will be a different number and within what will seem like only a few months from now he will be 3 years old.

I'm trying my hardest to live every day to the best. There are hard days for sure. Like today. A very hard day. But despite being hard I still try to remind myself to take all of him in. See the silly things. Like trying to sneak and tip toe down the hall when he should be sleeping. Especially when I am looking at him and he's still trying to sneak. Or when he stops, says ready? Go! Then continues running.

I love the way he is so curious about life and want to know "what that mommy?" Or "where did ___ go?" And when he's excited he will say 'look look!" And point out all the things that us as adults don't bother stopping to appreciate.

I look at my niece and nephew while I'm here at my mom's or I look back at videos and pictures of austin and I'm reminded that he's only this age once, every day he gets older and I need to cherish those days. I am going to try my hardest to live each day to it's best. Try to remember the cute when I'm losing patience. Try to tell myself that life is short, do all that I can now. And no matter what I will always love my family.