2nd part of my update.

Alright, so an update on us now.

I'll start with the best. Austin. He's getting smarter and cuter by the day. He now has 5 teeth out, one pre-molar just poked through and another pre-molar getting ready to come through.

He's been in Daycare since December. Last week was the first week we weren't sick! woo hoo! Other than the sickness he has been doing really well. I'm glad he's able to get out and socialize with other kids.

He now seems to be less clumsy. I know he will never *not* be clumsy... after all, he is my son, but he is getting better.

He still isn't talking much. He says Uh oh, mama, occasionally dada. When he's playing with cars he will make a 'room 'room noise. I think he's trying to say elmo. he understands a lot though. When I ask him to put something somewhere or go get his toys he understood. I asked him a few weeks ago if he wanted to put his coat on to go to daycare and play with the kids. He shook his head yes then held out his arms to put his coat on. He loves playing with forks while eating, still hasn't mastered the art of scooping things onto his fork yet though.

Finally, he gets into everything. EVERYTHING. I find myself uttering the most ridiculous statements some days. So far the best has been "Austin, get your balls out of the toilet." Yes that's right, he took the balls from his helecopter and put them in the toilet. He's started to climb. I finally got him to stop playing with the lamps in the living room. Not anymore. He climbs up on our ottoman, then crawls onto the table and plays with the lamps. I have to figure out how to get him to stop again. Some days though I find it so hard to tell him no because he gives me the cutest smile. I still do though, no spoiling here! lol. It's so hard to believe that he will be 15 months old next week. Crazy.


Next, Dave. He's still in Alberta. It has been really hard, but we're managing. We're doing what we need to at this point. We're hoping for him to come home in March, however we will see what happens in March.

That brings me back to my 'chat board'. The group of girls I have bonded with have helped me immensely. Like I said, they have been my saviour. These past almost 7 months have been really hard. I've shut myself off from most of my friends. I realize this and I guess this post is to get myself to open up, let everyone back in. I want to start with I'm sorry. I've dodged a lot of calls and avoided keeping up with friends. Some friends I just can't bear to be around. They remind me too much of the happy times when I had my husband here with me. I know I should embrace that but I haven't been able to. That's why I've not called them, I haven't gone out of my way to make conversation. It just sucks and was too hard to pretend to be happy. I didn't want to go out and be fake all night, but I also didn't want to bring them down and make them worry. To those friends who have wondered where I've been the past few months, I'm sorry. I've been a crappy friend. I've decided though that I need to change that and try to get out of my funk a bit more.

I have made some new friends that I have been hanging out with quite a bit. It's great because I can be happy without any previous memories, but most nights the sadness is still there. I know it's still going to be there until my husband is home with me, but I'm actually trying to make a conscious effort now. When I look back at the past 6 1/2 months I feel like I've been surviving, not living. I don't want to do that anymore. So here I am. I am opening up about everything and getting it out for everyone to read. Makes me a bit more accountable for being absent from my life. Everything has been affected and I'm changing it. I'm taking more notice and care of everything around me.

Just please, don't mention Valentine's day to me. I'm still a little bitter/sad/annoyed at the 'holiday' since Dave and I won't be able to be together.

On to some happier news. I finished my accounting course last semester with a grade of 96. I was so shocked and happy about that! I'm taking accounting 2 this semester. I'm hoping to get a grade just as good. Too bad I didn't figure out that I was good at this math stuff when I was in school and did something about it then.

Well, I'm off to bed. Austin has taken to waking up for a few hours in the middle of the night the past week so I should get some sleep before he gets me up again!