Monday, September 2, 2013

True bath time stories

Some days I wish I was making these things up.

The other night I threw both kids in the bath. Mackenzie was playing with her water spraying toys, Austin was playing with his hot wheels.  They were having fun. Mackenzie kept drinking the water (insert dry heave here) and Austin kept farting in the water. If course I had to say "stop drinking the water! Your brother farted in it." Sigh. 

So, they are content playing with their separate toys. Until Mackenzie finds a new toy.... It's dangling in the water....... Between her brother's legs. She reaches over. I pull her away as she grabs on. Her brother of course is like what the hell?!?!?  I decide this is the best time to stop playtime and start washing and getting out.

Both kids are now out of the bath. Austin is drying himself off.  He looks at me all serious. "Mommy, what is this?" I look over, yeah..... "Well, that's a ball, or well, a testicle. You have 2 of them."  So he tries to find the other one. Of course. Then, he tells me - "look mommy, it looks like lungs." How, at this point how I haven't started laughing like a lunatic, I have no idea. I explain that it may look like a set of lungs, but they do not do the same thing as lungs. He points to his chest, says "here is one set of lungs, and here is the other" pointing to his newly discovered testicles. All I could think was dear god, do not let him bring this up at camp tomorrow. Please. So I tell him again, they are not lungs, then wrap him back up in his towel. 

But this story isn't done yet... Towards the end of the testicle discussion, Mackenzie catches sight of that new dangly toy again. So she's right beside him as I'm trying to put his towel on, trying to lift his towel to see it. 

At that point I looked at the clock, and said "oh good, bedtime" 

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