Saturday, August 7, 2010

Internet Vacation.

I've been on a bit of an internet vacation. I wasn't happy, I was feeling sad a lot over a loss of many friends who have been my support on a chat board I was on for about 5 years. These were people I have checked in with every single day (if possible, I think max I've been away from the board was 5 days and it wasn't very often) for the past 5 years. Now, a lot of them are gone. I was very upset and very confused and angry and insert every other possible emotion. I was addicted to my facebook in hopes that they would just magically re-appear since I know there is no hope of going back to the board (yay perma ban!) I know I know, it's silly to get such an attachment to people on a chat board, but this was more then just a chat board. I had met up with many of the ladies from the board for dinners and we went through celebrating our weddings, and birth of our children and anniversaries and much more together. So, I felt a little lost. I felt like I was alone. I finally gave up on my facebook friends list magically growing again. And I haven't been on since. I just don't feel like going on the internet. Tonight I needed to log in for a different reason to check on a purchase made last week and decided to update at least this.

So, Here I am. I still feel alone. Most days I am still really sad. I am trying though. I am determined to push through this. I need to find another outlet for myself. I need to work on myself. I am going to. It may be hard, but I am going to. I've also been feeling sad because I am missing Austin and Dave a lot. Obviously Dave because he is in Alberta, and I am working nights so I am missing out on a lot of things with Austin. I'm loving my days off where I can read him a story in bed. I love having 'conversations' with him. He's growing like crazy and I am definately missing him. Last weekend we were at Dave's grandparents and I got some awesome shots of the little man.

Can't believe just how big he's getting. *sigh* He's going to be 2 soon. How is that possible? I was ok with 1. It happens, it's a big party, it's another one of his firsts. All along you count your child's age in months. However I started counting Austin's age in stages. "just over a year" "almost a year and a half" "a year and a half" "almost 2 years old" In just 3 short months it's going to be "2 years old" Soooo crazy. I also think I'm a little panicked because I don't know where we will be for his birthday and therefore haven't even started thinking about party details.

Our house has been doing pretty well. It looks amazing and this week we've had a showing almost every day. I'm hoping this results in something. I would really like the house to be one less thing to worry about. Like I've said before that I will definately miss this house, it was our first house and Austin's first house. But, we will be moving on to exciting things and new memories.
Anyways, I am signing off, hopefully I will be keeping this updated a bit more in the next few weeks.

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